Some Say…

Some Say…

You must know who you are & be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else.

That’s true. 

However, who you are at your essence isn’t determined by superfluous details.

Are you beating yourselves up over your personal “checklist”?

If so, please stop.

I grew up on movies.

Old classic movies, musicals, 80s movies, romantic comedies, action flicks … I love them all.

I’m a creative person with an active imagination & that’s also why I gravitated towards writing, acting & performing.

I could envision myself playing a role in each and every genre:

Period piece, Western, Action, Romance, Comedy …

 

The movie “The Runaway Bride” focused on the fact she didn’t know who she was, what type of eggs she liked, what type of wedding she wanted …

 It’s a romantic comedy, so it’s naturally a lighthearted and simplistic way to show that she had a pattern & always deferred to the men in her life. She was running and hiding from her true self. 

 

So many I know (and knew) got married right after college.

And some are still together. Some.

 

Are you the same person you were in your 20’s?

The person or people you dated in your 20’s, can you imagine being with them now? I cannot.

 

I always had creative pursuits & I also really wanted a family. That’s a large part of who I am.  I did not fore-sake one for the other. It was never one or the other, it was always both for me.

 

 While pursuing my career in Los Angeles, I was always on the lookout for a good man that I believed would also be a good father. I didn’t find him in Los Angeles. Or Houston, to be blunt.

 

I have always tried to work on myself & ask myself the tough questions. To learn from my experiences, good and bad.

I have reinvented myself personally & professionally many times. I’m all about self-awareness, evolving & growth. It truly is necessary to tweak things and make changes and adjustments as you learn.

 

Because of this, I took a step back and looked in the mirror.

I wondered internally if the reason why I was so enamored with the fantasy of the movies & different characters was because maybe I didn’t really know who I was & what I wanted.

 

Nope, that’s not it.

 

I loved performance since I was young. Singing. Dancing. Acting.

It’s all a part of me and you love what you love.

 

I was inspired by the talent, life & career of someone like Michelle Pfeiffer.

She has my dream life.

She hit big when she was young, had an impressive resume and then she adopted a baby, met “the one”, settled down & focused on taking care of her family.

 

She would then do a film here & there (which made the public want to see more of her).

She truly has it all. Rare, I know. But I’m an optimist, always have been. 

 

Coming full circle, not in my 20s (wink), I realized that I’ve always known who I am & what I wanted.

 

It simply didn’t pan out the way I had planned.

 

And that’s ok.

 

And I’m not finished.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but during Covid I think I truly got to know myself again.

Things slowed down & away from the chaos & stress, I had some epiphanies.

 

 Besides my experiences, both professionally and creatively…

 

I realized I am a caretaker at heart without a special someone or family to take care of.  A supportive helper at my essence. A do’er. A fixer. Sometimes to my own detriment. I also realized that actually, I had this figured out long ago.

I am a caring mother, without a child.

There is no official guide for women of a certain age when they come to terms with the fact they will not be a mother. That’s a much longer conversation, however, those in the same situation understand.

During that precious time during lockdown, it reminded me who I really am & what’s truly important.

 

I had simply allowed the chaos, stress & noise of life to distract me, beat myself up with my own expectations of myself & second-guessed my natural inclinations. But I always knew.

As the saying goes, “life happens while you’re busy making other plans”.

 

Yes, I have a firm grip on the type of eggs I prefer, but ultimately, none of that stuff matters in the big picture. We sometimes get bogged down in the minutiae and things that ultimately do not matter.

 

I will always be a creative person with creative pursuits.

 

It’s not that I don’t still have the same ambitions. I always will.

I have worked in very competitive industries in competitive roles.

I have reached a point in my life that while my career is important, my health, happiness & well-being is more important than anything. 

 

It doesn’t matter where I live or what I’m doing for a living.

It only matters that I’m with someone I want to be with and all my caretaker tendencies and overall fabulousness is appreciated, celebrated & cherished.

Another words, it must be right.

Take care of each other & take care of yourselves.

💜

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Take 5

Hello everyone! Holy Moly, it has been a while, hasn’t it?  

If only I could clone myself. I think I may need a hiatus from my hiatus.  

As you know, I’ve taken quite a break from acting and coaching. I miss it, however, I don’t currently live where it’s realistic to pursue, so I have focused on my business and my writing.  

Will I go back to LA? Maybe someday. Or maybe it’s not necessary to live in LA for my goals.  

After a couple years of audition invitations while here (self-taped auditions, out-of-state), I realized it was a waste of my efforts. That’s for me. Everyone is different. But I found they were simply hiring locally and if it’s not right, it’s not right.  

As the saying goes, “Life Happens While You’re Making Other Plans”.  

The hilarious irony is that in the midst of promoting my business, I finally learned how to take a selfie and record myself. LOL 

When it comes to auditions, I truly prefer to focus on my performance & not have to worry about the technical hocus pocus. 

I already had a pretty healthy respect for crew members, however, wearing every hat yourself should bring even more appreciation for their important roles in the process.  

Being myself and recording myself to promote my business is easy breezy. 

Trying to focus on a performance while also worrying about the lighting and the sound and how do I look?  Yikes!  

I always appreciate EVERY opportunity and appreciated all those audition invitations.  

However, thinking back on all of those for the first few years of my “hiatus”, I would be lying if I didn’t admit I sometimes wish I could have a “do over”.  

It’s always the way, isn’t it? I’m not auditioning and I find myself giving into the social media pressure to promote promote promote my business. So NOW I’ve started to feel pretty savvy, technically speaking.  

I’m no guru, but compared to where I started, it’s day and night.  

This may sound ridiculous coming from someone who has shared many personal stories, but I am actually a very private person. 

I don’t know about you, but I’m a bit tired of social media. However, if you want to compete (in MANY businesses!), it’s a must. When everyone else is taking advantage of it, you cannot miss those opportunities.  

Can you?  

Ahhhh, a “Do Over” would be nice in many areas of life, wouldn’t it?  

When I was in LA full-time and auditioning full-time, I was wearing a lot of hats. It’s expensive to live in LA and I juggled many careers to make it work. It gets to you. I’m only human. And over time, the financial stress would get to me and I would stop taking care of myself. And pretty soon, I’d look in the mirror and not even recognize myself. 

I embraced all of it, because I wanted to work and loved the process. So I then embraced playing more character-type roles.  

I find it SO ironic and somewhat hilarious (very “me”), after some time out of LA, I’m suddenly tech savvy and I’m looking more like myself.  

When I was in college, a friend and I would joke that when we “let ourselves go”, the social calendar was always full and we had money to burn. 

When we were in-shape, we were broke and bored. LOL  

Of course. That sounds about right.  🙂

And yet…here I am, in no man’s land. No auditions, no “cameras” per se.  I feel like Rapunzel up in the tower.  

If a tree falls in the forest…we know that one, don’t we? 

If an actress is feeling like her old self and there are no productions around … zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 

C’est La Vie. Such is life.  

It all sounds so superficial, doesn’t it? Well, it is. The business is very superficial. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I guess I get sick of “me”. Headshot after headshot.

I took a break from “the business”. I’m like, great, I’m going to use my business skills in another industry.

Great!

Then my social media guru informs me, hey, they don’t want to see your cute little bitmoji meme. They want to see YOU. The selfies and videos, that’s what gets engagement.

Sigh.

Okay, Okay, I’ll do it. And I did it. And I’ve been doing it. And frankly, I’m burnt out on social media.

I think it’s toxic. But that’s a much longer conversation for a different day.

Life is always throwing detours our way. I’ve transitioned and remade myself many times over. And each time is scary and exciting all wrapped up into one.  

I had even put some of my writing on a bit of a hiatus and then an opportunity came out of nowhere, so I jumped at it & suddenly found myself on a plane going to a meeting.  

This business if full of many starts and stops. So then you switch focus. It’s not easy, I’ll be the first to admit.  

This year is getting away from me. It’s almost June! I started thinking about my goals at the beginning of the new year. Where am I on that list? Hmmm, must ponder. 

It truly might be time to Take 5 and go on a hiatus from my hiatus.  

Step back from it all and take a long, hard look. I wear a lot of hats. Always have.  
 
Where should I focus my energy? What’s the short-term goal? Long-term goal? 

I’ll be the first to admit you cannot do it all. I’ve tried. It’s a constant shuffle and juggle and shifting priorities from one day to the next.  

I have a hard time relaxing. I can’t do nothing. My “nothing” would wear most people out.  

But I’ve been on auto-pilot for a bit and I need to give myself permission to step back from some things.

Which things ?

And those of you that juggle get it. You have that fear that if you’re juggling and you drop one of them…is that the one you were supposed to keep up in the air? Or was it the other “thing”?  

But I have an inkling that a Time Out may be necessary.  

Of course, as I’m typing this, I’m making mental lists. LOL  

Will I be able to step back and take a long, hard look to determine where to focus most of my energy?  

Stay Tuned. 

Take care of yourselves, focus on what matters and don’t forget to Take 5.

Say Yes

How is everyone doing?

My long absence from the blog has not escaped me. Trust me.

If I could, I would clone myself

( several times over) and accomplish everything & do it all quite well. 😇

In the midst of my writing, I am also creating a new business.

These things take time & patience. 2 things I consistently feel is in short supply.

Some creative projects have hit a few snags here & there. One minute it’s, YAY & the next it’s Booooo.

Welcome to showbiz! 😎

But I’m a perfectionist & I want things done right.

I hope everyone is doing well, staying positive & staying focused.

Life will throw detours your way. It’s unavoidable.

I tend to overthink everything, because I’m a planner & not a fan of detours.

I’m learning to say, “Yes” & see where the journey takes me.

Give it a try.

I mean, it’s Friday the 13th, what do you have to lose? 😉

Stay Tuned.

http://www.NicoleComer.com

“ACTING…It’s Not For Sissies”

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“ACTING…It’s Not For Sissies” Book Review!!

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Thank you for  checking it out! I hope everyone is doing well.

 

 

 

Break A Leg!

 

 

Nicole Comer

 

http://www.NicoleComer.com

TWITTER: @NicoleComerAct

INSTAGRAM: thenicolecomer

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Happy New Year Actors!

maggiesmith

Happy New Year everyone!

I hope everyone had a fabulous holiday season with family and friends. It went by quickly didn’t it?

Well, now it’s time to get busy. Again!

This is a great time to go through your Actor’s Access profile and see if you can make your resume and special skills more specific with great key words.

Additionally, I think you should go through your last photoshoot and pick out a few pics you haven’t used and upload those to your profile.

This will give your agent some new options. Especially if you felt you did not get enough auditions last year.

I suggest picking a look totally different from your “usual suspect” headshots.

Embrace a NEW you.

Why not?

Focusing on my writing has been an enlightening process for me and my “type”.

I’m not as active as I used to be, so my face is a bit fuller. What?!

It’s true.

Actually, all of me is a bit fuller. M-K?

I shot a webseries last year. Always great to work. I saw the finished product and was like….who the hell is that?!

 

I noticed jowls and lines and things I had not seen before.

Does age & weight make you more interesting? I’ll get back to you on that. LOL

Well, I was hired to play a “character”. It’s not about me. It’s not about you. You’re a product.

It can be frustrating when it doesn’t fit your usual “brand”, but that’s ok.

It was a great experience and it showed me, hmmm, well, perhaps that isn’t my best side? I need to work on this and I need to work on that. 

 

Working is always the goal! Am I right?

And I’ll start on the New Me… Now.

 

I took a first step and changed my hair color a bit.

 

Now it’s your turn. 

Ready-Set-Go !

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Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays Everyone!

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“ACTING…It’s Not For Sissies” 1 & 2 available on AMAZON!

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Hello everyone!

So sorry I’ve been absent from the blog. I have been busy working on my screenplay projects.

I hope that everyone is well and had a fabulous 2016! I did!

Enjoy this time with family & friends and remember once the New Year gets here it’s time to hit the ground running again.

Let’s make 2017 the best year yet!!

Check out my books on Amazon. GREAT gifts and Stocking Stuffers for those actors in your life.

Ho Ho Ho

http://www.NicoleComer.com

Pilot Season Is Over…Now What?

Pacino

Hello everyone.


I’m sorry I’ve been a bit absent from the blog.

I am focusing on the sequel to “ACTING…It’s Not For Sissies” as well as completing a few screenplay projects.


Writing can be a bit isolating (and sedentary! ) however I am truly enjoying taking this time to focus on my own personal writing goals.


So, pilot season is over. What are you up to?


I talk about Pilot Season in my book and the anxiety that goes along with it.

Actors are consistently second-guessing themselves wondering if they’re doing enough.


Well, now that the season is over and things have slowed a bit…now what?


I also talk about this in my book in the Keep Yourselves Busy chapter.


The possibilities are endless.



This is that time to do some SPRING CLEANING.


-Go through your ONLINE PROFILES (Actor’s Access, LAcasting, etc)  and be sure everything is up-to-date and accurate


-Go through those HEADSHOTS; Take some down, upload some new ones. The #1 reason you’re not being called in is your headshot! (hopefully your manager and/or agent includes that submitted photo w/ your audition info so you know which ones are working. If they’re not, it’s a good suggestion). 

-Although they’re not used as frequently as before, please do an inventory of your HARD-COPY headshots and see if you need to place an order


-Missing some work for your REEL? Contact those productions again to get your scene(s).  Accessing TV episodes is simpler now because most of it is accessible online and you can do that yourself. Getting your scene(s) for a film can be a challenge. There’s only so much you can do. Trust me, there are projects I worked on that I never saw the end result. 


-How is your RESUME looking? I’m referring to the printable copy as well as the resume on your online profiles. Clean it up! Make it pop! Be sure new credits & training are added and look at your formatting to be sure it’s as eye-pleasing as possible. 

-AUDIT some new acting classes & workshops

Improv, Cold Reading Workshops, Acting For The Camera, Sitcom

-Do you need NEW HEADSHOTS? Do your homework, find a new photographer and schedule that session ASAP. (more info in my book under Headshots chapter)


-Are you still carrying that holiday weight? Get your FITNESS plan in gear!



-Need a NEW AGENT? At the end of pilot season, some agencies will begin to drop talent, so you may have to start that search for a new agency. This is the time to do it! 


Or even if you weren’t dropped and you have decided it’s time to make a change, please read my book about agents.  Do not leave until you have a new agent. 



That should keep you pretty occupied and most importantly in a constructive fashion.

And before you know it, the Fall TV season will begin!

Break A Leg! 
“ACTING…It’s Not For Sissies”
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NOTHING Can Replace or Diminish a Strong Work Ethic

ClintCHANGE

NOTHING Can Replace or Diminish a Strong Work Ethic

 

It doesn’t really matter whether you’re an actor, writer or IT professional.

 

You must have a strong work ethic to survive and thrive in this world.

 

From an observational standpoint, I use a lot of child stars as an example. Not all, but a lot of them were quite lucky from an early age and the only job they ever had was to be an actor.
Pretty great, huh?

 

However their experience is not a realistic one and it did not prepare them for the world at large when/if their careers stalled.

 

A lot of them are not prepared and were not prepared for curve balls that headed their way, because they didn’t have any other skill than being an actor.

It has nothing to do with having an Plan A or Plan B, per se.

 

It has to do with your world and life experience.

From my own observation when I hear of a young star or starlet being “difficult” or showing up late, keeping people waiting, being snotty to fans...it’s not shocking to me.

 

They don’t appreciate what a gift they have been given. 

 
Those of you in the trenches waiting tables, tending bar, substitute teaching and on and on are believe it or not SO lucky & SO much more prepared for life.

 

When/if you get those bookings and triumphs, you appreciate it and do not take it for granted.

 

They were simply not prepared for a world that didn’t include a hit TV show or film career.

 

On one hand, I believe if you’re a good person you’re going to be that same good person regardless of the money and success that comes your way.

 

On the other hand, the young starlets and stars that behave in such a manner are not much different than this younger generation coming out of school and expecting everything handed to them.

 

They haven’t had the struggle. They never waited tables or worked in a chaotic call center. They have never been sick to their stomach as the 1st of the month approaches. For them, that does not compute.

 

There are always exceptions. Always. But I see it quite frequently with successful actors that if you followed their journey you realize that they were pretty darn lucky.

 

True, we don’t always see their struggles and their work.

But if they have been a working actor since their teens and early 20’s, color them fortunate.

 

I have been working since I was 11 years old.

 

I was “the” neighborhood babysitter and was known as the type of responsible kid that parents trusted. And I did that consistently until I was old enough to get an official job at the mall. And many many jobs and careers followed including acting. 

 

I went to school with kids that didn’t have to work. If we took a trek to the mall their parents easily and readily gave them a couple $100 to blow on whatever.

 

If I wanted whatever, I had to work to pay for it.

 

I’m bringing up Work Ethic because I believe it is so important for aspiring and working actors. You’ve often heard the phrase that your agent makes 10% so you’re responsible for 90% of the work.

 

And it’s SO true.

 

So many actors think once they sign with that agent that their work is done.

I talk about this in my book, “ACTING…It’s Not For Sissies”.

 

Once you sign with an agent THAT is when the work begins. NOW you’re in a position to capitalize on that connection and that person who is working to get you into doors.
So when you make it in that door you had better be ready.

 

How are you going to be ready?

 

Classes, workshops, up-to-date professional headshots, updated resume and of course TALENT.

 

And how you are going to pay for all of that? Work! Work! Work!

 

This business has ebbs and flows for everyone no matter their success level. You must be willing to venture out into unknown territory and take the reins.

 

You cannot sit and wait for your agent or anyone else to bring things to you. Go out and get it!!

 

There will always be actors that are working actors that people refer to as “difficult”, that will never change.

 

However, in most cases, do you want to know why it’s “who you know”? That’s because no one wants to spend a 15-hour day with a pain in the ass!!

 

If a director has worked with an actor and had a great experience, they’re going to hire that actor again.

 

That’s why it’s “who you know”.

 

There are producers and directors that say, you know what, I could get this person who is a much bigger “name”, but life is too damn short and if we’re going to embark on this creative journey, let’s enjoy it too!

 

Life is happening all around you.

 

You may not currently be at your chosen destination.

 

But please know if you’re armed with a healthy work ethic, you will always get the better of those challenges that life throws your way.

 

Break A Leg!

 

 

 

“ACTING…It’s Not For Sissies”

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Bookstore Locations, Availability & Updates

Actress Writer & Acting Coach

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Hello everyone. Thank you for taking a look at my new book.

A sequel to this one is in the works. I am continuing to utilize examples and experiences with my coaching clients as inspiration as well as the questions and comments I receive on the regular from actors.

Please follow this blog & always feel free to post questions. I would be happy to assist and if it’s not something I’ve heard before, it just might make it into the next book.

Below are bookstore locations and the Amazon link to view and purchase the book.

If you have a favorite local bookstore that you love to support (or your college bookstore) you may simply ask that they order it for you.

Happy Week & Break a leg!!

“ACTING...It’s Not For Sissies”

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ENGLISH eBook & Paperback:  http://amzn.to/1MigmKN

eBook in SPANISH: http://amzn.to/1L2ITEU

SPANISH Paperback: http://www.amazon.com/dp/152279994X

eBook in JAPANESE: http://amzn.to/1O7yVX0

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Tess Holliday Takes A Swipe At Victoria’s Secret…Again

Tess
September 2015
 
 
December 2015
 

Good morning peeps!

 

Well, apparently Plus-Sized model, Tess Holliday decided to take a swipe at Victoria’s Secret models. (sigh) And this isn’t the 1st time she has done this.

 

This tale is as old as time.

 

Now, if the tables were turned, everyone would pile up on those angels from VS and pull out the popular term, “bully”.

 

The fact that she then equated herself with the gay community and black community is also very telling. She sees herself as some sort of oppressed minority and therefore she believes she has Carte Blanche to say whatever she wishes without consequences? Was that her thinking?

 

Actually, I have no idea what she was thinking or her true rationale so I will leave that alone.

 

However, I will say a few other things.

 

Why are women constantly in a competition with one another to say, “No, I’M the ideal woman!” ?

 

It annoys me.

 

These are the times when I feel more like a man and think, geez, women are exhausting.  Am I right?

 

Tess is using VS to gain publicity for herself because she is preying on the insecurity of all women. Women that look at VS models and think, crap, I’m never going to look like that. I’m 5’4″ and my legs are just never going to be that long; That ship has sailed.

 

But Tess, you’re in for a rude awakening. I do not want to look like you. I don’t aspire to look like you and in fact you’re so heavy that you make me uncomfortable.

 

In addition, I have never personally been a fan of tattoos. Not in the slightest. I realize in the younger generation I may be in the minority but I’m not a fan of that look.

 

I dated a muscle-head guy years ago and didn’t realize he had tattoos until he wore a short-sleeved shirt. I was immediately turned off. My only exception to this would be The Rock. For him, I would make an exception.

 

Tess and her career rise is a stark example of political correctness gone awry.

 

I do not believe anyone should be picked on for the way they look.

 

At the same time, I do not believe she should be put on a pedestal for women either.

 

I’m an educated adult and you cannot convince me that Tess is healthy. She is a walking advertisement for diabetes and heart disease.

 

And I’ll tell you something else. As an actress, this whole discussion is also quite personal. The smallest I have ever been is a size 4 and that was a full-time job. It’s possible I was smaller at a certain point, but I’ll never know, because it always seemed when I had the bod, I didn’t have the $ for the new wardrobe and vice versa.

 

I am curvy. Hippy and busty. I cannot change that unless I have surgery and I’m a bit gun-shy when it comes to unnecessary surgical procedures. I have longed for breast reduction since I was a teenager.
At the same time, surgery scares the crap out of me. Although I do realize my chest makes me appear much larger on-camera. It’s a stark reality and I have accepted it.

 

Hollywood is also a mirror image of this political correct argument. Hollywood tells actresses that you’re either a size 0 or you’re obese. They don’t seem to allow much variance there.

 

There are exceptions I have seen if you’re a minority.

 

However, if you’re a Caucasian (appearance) actress and you’re remotely attractive, you had better be perfect. That is my opinion and my experience. Take it or leave it. 

 

There’s all this talk about gender inequality and racial inequality in casting.

 

Well, I would like to put my vote in the box for a discussion about size inequality.

 

I have read for major leading roles on a couple series. When the casting breakdown initially came out it was, “we’re looking for an actress who needs to lose about 15 pounds”

 

By the time they were cast, the roles were obese. Now, one of these roles was cast with a “name” actress, so I get it.

 

And please let me say that I appreciate ALL auditions. I love a chance to go in and show what I do. I take my own advice and tell myself, hey, go in and Make Fans (From, “ACTING…It’s Not For Sissies”), because I’m in it for the long haul.

 

I am the 1st to admit that there are 100’s of reasons why you do or do not book a job. And in a lot of cases it had absolutely nothing to do with your audition.
Your resume, your name recognition, your “type”…many reasons. And they usually have “offers out” on most of these by the time I walk in their door so while I am always hopeful, I am also realistic.

 

However, when it came to this discussion, I felt the need to put in my 2 cents in regards to body image.

 

There is no such thing as perfection. And women and girls should not be lectured to by anyone as to who is their perfect body image role model.

 

There is a place for Tess and there is a place for the Victoria’s Secret models. And there is a place for me too!

 

Isn’t that the point?

 

 

I wish that Tess would focus on herself. I wish she would work on her own image and I’m not just referring to her outward appearance. She needs a PR coach, because I believe she may have overstayed her welcome.

 

 

Break A Leg!

 

“ACTING…It’s Not For Sissies”

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NICOLE COMER:

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