Some Say…

Some Say…

You must know who you are & be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else.

That’s true. 

However, who you are at your essence isn’t determined by superfluous details.

Are you beating yourselves up over your personal “checklist”?

If so, please stop.

I grew up on movies.

Old classic movies, musicals, 80s movies, romantic comedies, action flicks … I love them all.

I’m a creative person with an active imagination & that’s also why I gravitated towards writing, acting & performing.

I could envision myself playing a role in each and every genre:

Period piece, Western, Action, Romance, Comedy …

 

The movie “The Runaway Bride” focused on the fact she didn’t know who she was, what type of eggs she liked, what type of wedding she wanted …

 It’s a romantic comedy, so it’s naturally a lighthearted and simplistic way to show that she had a pattern & always deferred to the men in her life. She was running and hiding from her true self. 

 

So many I know (and knew) got married right after college.

And some are still together. Some.

 

Are you the same person you were in your 20’s?

The person or people you dated in your 20’s, can you imagine being with them now? I cannot.

 

I always had creative pursuits & I also really wanted a family. That’s a large part of who I am.  I did not fore-sake one for the other. It was never one or the other, it was always both for me.

 

 While pursuing my career in Los Angeles, I was always on the lookout for a good man that I believed would also be a good father. I didn’t find him in Los Angeles. Or Houston, to be blunt.

 

I have always tried to work on myself & ask myself the tough questions. To learn from my experiences, good and bad.

I have reinvented myself personally & professionally many times. I’m all about self-awareness, evolving & growth. It truly is necessary to tweak things and make changes and adjustments as you learn.

 

Because of this, I took a step back and looked in the mirror.

I wondered internally if the reason why I was so enamored with the fantasy of the movies & different characters was because maybe I didn’t really know who I was & what I wanted.

 

Nope, that’s not it.

 

I loved performance since I was young. Singing. Dancing. Acting.

It’s all a part of me and you love what you love.

 

I was inspired by the talent, life & career of someone like Michelle Pfeiffer.

She has my dream life.

She hit big when she was young, had an impressive resume and then she adopted a baby, met “the one”, settled down & focused on taking care of her family.

 

She would then do a film here & there (which made the public want to see more of her).

She truly has it all. Rare, I know. But I’m an optimist, always have been. 

 

Coming full circle, not in my 20s (wink), I realized that I’ve always known who I am & what I wanted.

 

It simply didn’t pan out the way I had planned.

 

And that’s ok.

 

And I’m not finished.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but during Covid I think I truly got to know myself again.

Things slowed down & away from the chaos & stress, I had some epiphanies.

 

 Besides my experiences, both professionally and creatively…

 

I realized I am a caretaker at heart without a special someone or family to take care of.  A supportive helper at my essence. A do’er. A fixer. Sometimes to my own detriment. I also realized that actually, I had this figured out long ago.

I am a caring mother, without a child.

There is no official guide for women of a certain age when they come to terms with the fact they will not be a mother. That’s a much longer conversation, however, those in the same situation understand.

During that precious time during lockdown, it reminded me who I really am & what’s truly important.

 

I had simply allowed the chaos, stress & noise of life to distract me, beat myself up with my own expectations of myself & second-guessed my natural inclinations. But I always knew.

As the saying goes, “life happens while you’re busy making other plans”.

 

Yes, I have a firm grip on the type of eggs I prefer, but ultimately, none of that stuff matters in the big picture. We sometimes get bogged down in the minutiae and things that ultimately do not matter.

 

I will always be a creative person with creative pursuits.

 

It’s not that I don’t still have the same ambitions. I always will.

I have worked in very competitive industries in competitive roles.

I have reached a point in my life that while my career is important, my health, happiness & well-being is more important than anything. 

 

It doesn’t matter where I live or what I’m doing for a living.

It only matters that I’m with someone I want to be with and all my caretaker tendencies and overall fabulousness is appreciated, celebrated & cherished.

Another words, it must be right.

Take care of each other & take care of yourselves.

💜

BOOK 1

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BOOK

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June 9, 2023April 16, 2024 by TheNicoleComer Categories: Acting, Acting Coach, Actors, Actorslife, advice, Amazon, Audition, Blogging, Books, Business, coaching, ebook, Guide, Hollywood, Los Angeles, motherhood, relationships, work ethicTags: creative, motherhood, performing, relationships Leave a comment

NOTHING Can Replace or Diminish a Strong Work Ethic

NOTHING Can Replace or Diminish a Strong Work Ethic

 

It doesn’t really matter whether you’re an actor, writer or IT professional.

 

You must have a strong work ethic to survive and thrive in this world.

 

From an observational standpoint, I use a lot of child stars as an example. Not all, but a lot of them were quite lucky from an early age and the only job they ever had was to be an actor.

Pretty great, huh?

 

However their experience is not a realistic one and it did not prepare them for the world at large when/if their careers stalled.

 

A lot of them are not prepared and were not prepared for curve balls that headed their way, because they didn’t have any other skill than being an actor.

It has nothing to do with having an Plan A or Plan B, per se.

 

It has to do with your world and life experience.

From my own observation when I hear of a young star or starlet being “difficult” or showing up late, keeping people waiting, being snotty to fans...it’s not shocking to me.

 

They don’t appreciate what a gift they have been given. 

 

Those of you in the trenches waiting tables, tending bar, substitute teaching and on and on are believe it or not SO lucky & SO much more prepared for life.

 

When/if you get those bookings and triumphs, you appreciate it and do not take it for granted.

 

They were simply not prepared for a world that didn’t include a hit TV show or film career.

 

On one hand, I believe if you’re a good person you’re going to be that same good person regardless of the money and success that comes your way.

 

On the other hand, the young starlets and stars that behave in such a manner are not much different than this younger generation coming out of school and expecting everything handed to them.

 

They haven’t had the struggle. They never waited tables or worked in a chaotic call center. They have never been sick to their stomach as the 1st of the month approaches. For them, that does not compute.

 

There are always exceptions. Always. But I see it quite frequently with successful actors that if you followed their journey you realize that they were pretty darn lucky.

 

True, we don’t always see their struggles and their work.

But if they have been a working actor since their teens and early 20’s, color them fortunate.

 

I have been working since I was 11 years old.

 

I was “the” neighborhood babysitter and was known as the type of responsible kid that parents trusted. And I did that consistently until I was old enough to get an official job at the mall. And many many jobs and careers followed including acting. 

 

I went to school with kids that didn’t have to work. If we took a trek to the mall their parents easily and readily gave them a couple $100 to blow on whatever.

 

If I wanted whatever, I had to work to pay for it.

 

I’m bringing up Work Ethic because I believe it is so important for aspiring and working actors. You’ve often heard the phrase that your agent makes 10% so you’re responsible for 90% of the work.

 

And it’s SO true.

 

So many actors think once they sign with that agent that their work is done.

I talk about this in my book, “ACTING…It’s Not For Sissies”.

 

Once you sign with an agent THAT is when the work begins. NOW you’re in a position to capitalize on that connection and that person who is working to get you into doors.

So when you make it in that door you had better be ready.

 

How are you going to be ready?

 

Classes, workshops, up-to-date professional headshots, updated resume and of course TALENT.

 

And how you are going to pay for all of that? Work! Work! Work!

 

This business has ebbs and flows for everyone no matter their success level. You must be willing to venture out into unknown territory and take the reins.

 

You cannot sit and wait for your agent or anyone else to bring things to you. Go out and get it!!

 

There will always be actors that are working actors that people refer to as “difficult”, that will never change.

 

However, in most cases, do you want to know why it’s “who you know”? That’s because no one wants to spend a 15-hour day with a pain in the ass!!

 

If a director has worked with an actor and had a great experience, they’re going to hire that actor again.

 

That’s why it’s “who you know”.

 

There are producers and directors that say, you know what, I could get this person who is a much bigger “name”, but life is too damn short and if we’re going to embark on this creative journey, let’s enjoy it too!

 

Life is happening all around you.

 

You may not currently be at your chosen destination.

 

But please know if you’re armed with a healthy work ethic, you will always get the better of those challenges that life throws your way.

 

Break A Leg!

 

 

 

“ACTING…It’s Not For Sissies”

http://amzn.to/1MigmKN

February 9, 2016February 9, 2016 by TheNicoleComer Categories: Acting, Acting Coach, Actors, Actorslife, advice, Amazon, Audition, Blogging, Books, Casting, coaching, ebook, Hollywood, Los Angeles, Uncategorized, work ethic Leave a comment